Why the Virtual Dating Culture Is Not For Everyone

In a swipe left, swipe right culture it seems nearly impossible for anyone in this day and age to not partake in the quest to finding love, but is it really just about finding love? To understand why the virtual dating culture is not for everyone you must first understand what it is all about.

Dating World

Sure you know there has been a dynamic shift in the dating culture (unless you have been under a rock) with the rise of dating apps such as Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish and so forth and so on. So why has this become the more popular way to find a significant other? Mobile dating began nearly a decade ago and had only increased in numbers with the rise of apps. Social media sites such as Myspace and Facebook birthed the new way to connect with people from all over the world and converse with not only people we admire but also with complete strangers.  Chat rooms were like the first computers, so to speak, as far as being the first generation to virtual dating.


With the continuous evolution of technology, it only evolved and strengthened in the number of users using it daily and has steadily risen in the past several years as the old, familiar (and rather stupid I might add) family hierarchy has tipped with more women becoming breadwinners. With that being said, there has been little to no time for meaningful interaction, but all it takes is a change to your 'preferences' settings, and your ideal match could be a click away. It has also made hook-ups more probable. One night stands for people searching for that has the opportunity to get lucky by changing what they are 'looking for' and just match with people that are hoping for the same thing now how about that.

Not For Me

Still, not everyone has succumbed to the new way of doing things. Call them nonconformists, or whatever clever name you can think of, but some people still believe in a more natural way of meeting someone of interest. Way back before computers were invented and where face-to-face conversations were had and the connections were imminent, everything seemed natural and there was not the occasional checking of your news feed because social media was M.I.A. If you are a millennial, then you probably always hear your elders (especially your parents) talk about the dangers of virtual dating and how anyone can be anyone behind a computer screen.  Yes, that is true, and catfish is real. Like, very real. Even if they are not catfish, you still have to be careful because everyone is masking themselves behind a facade. Meaning, authenticity is a rarity because everyone is displaying the very best versions of themselves. It can be a game of charade trying to figure out if that person is everything they are professing to be. It does not seem genuine, and that is a very scary beast to confront especially if you are not a millennial. Although, there are plenty of non-millennial people immersing themselves in the culture and some are even flourishing. Some sites such as eharmony and Black People Meet seems to attract a much more mature crowd, by requiring payment for you even to message your matches.  The idea is to diminish the number of catfish users and hookups by requiring you to pay an amount that you would only pay to find a real connection. Still not for you?

Where to Go From Here

Well, virtual dating is not going anywhere, so there is that. As for anyone looking for real connections, try having real conversations in person and be easygoing. Everyone wants the same type of relationship, but no one wants to sit down and have intimate conversations anymore. Virtual dating is not the only option, but it seems to be the primary option if you decide against it, all hope is not lost. Just know that the person you are attempting to converse with may have one or two occasional looks at their phone. It is nothing against you. It is just where society is headed.