Trusting God

I am like many other people in society. I went to school, K-12, and graduated high school. I took graduation exiting classes that helped me narrow down what I wanted to study in college and what college or university would be a good fit for my career goals. My parents encouraged me to dream big and I also knew that I should pray and ask God where He wanted me to be.However, I never thought that going away to college would be such a scary thing. My first two years in college, I lived with my parents. I wanted to save money and in doing so, I did not make a lot of friends right off the bat. Everyone said that making friends usually happened while living in the dorms. During those two years, a lot happened. My parents got a divorce and I became depressed. I had always thought that my family was the perfect Christian family. Truth be told, no one is perfect and I was holding my parents on a pedestal that they couldn’t live up to. I got a rude awakening when they got divorced and I was hurt. Unfortunately for them, it didn’t work out but I was now stuck in a depressed state. I didn’t enjoy life anymore and I needed a change. When my two years at the community college were up, I decided to move to Gunnison Colorado. It is a small mountain town that was also home to Western State Colorado University; but it was also a four hour drive from home. I was scared out of my mind to move there but I knew, for my own well-being, that I needed a change so I packed my bags and moved. The first night there was the worst. I was so scared and unsure about the choice I had just made. What if I screwed up? What if I don’t make it on my own? My mind was racing with so many questions and uncertainties. I pulled out my bible that night and searched for guidance from God. I knew that I had prayed about it and I felt that God was telling me to go to this little mountain town and I also knew that if would listen, He would give me guidance. As I sat there reading my bible, I found a verse that stood out to me the most.Joshua 1:9 says,

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. NIV

From that day on I knew I had to be strong. God had me there for a reason and I can’t ignore that. I also knew that God would give me guidance in everything I did. I only had to ask. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments when I didn’t know if I can trust God with my life. After college, I was scared I wouldn’t find a full time job; but He provided. Before I met my husband, I always thought I would have to settle on someone I didn’t love or I would become the old cat lady with fifty cats in her home (yes, at one point I even created a backup plan for that very idea); but again, God provided. When I was engaged, I never thought I would be able to find a place to live that was affordable; but God blessed us with a beautiful home. Even today, I start to wonder when God will give me a full time job in editing where I can put to use the degree I spent long hours working hard for. I think our problem (even mine) is that we want to have control of everything in our lives. Our human nature is to control everything and do it our way rather than God’s way. In Matthew 6:25-27 God says,

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you, by worrying, add a single hour to your life? NIV

I know it is easier said than done. Worrying is our first nature. It is what we want to do instead of trusting someone else; but God does have a plan for us. He has such a beautiful plan for our lives and if we decide to worry instead of focus on Him, we will miss out on some of the beautiful things He has for us to enjoy. Here is another challenge for us, when we feel stressed and worried about our futures or we don’t want to give up our dreams for God to work on, let’s ask for His guidance before trying it our way. Read your bible and listen to what God has to tell you there; pray and ask God to give you strength while waiting. Or maybe even get involved in helping others in your spare time. Don’t give yourself time to think about it or worry about those things. Serve the Lord while you wait for Him to mold and make your dreams more than you could ever ask for.