Things You Should Ask Your Fiancé Before Getting Married
He already popped the question, and you are in the planning stage of your future! Some things bother you, or maybe you feel you need to ask more deep and serious questions. These are the things you should ask your fiancé before getting married.I don’t want to scare you or want you to think negatively about your future. I just want you to think and prepare. Be ready for what is coming. Life will start full force when you say I do.
Medical & Future Decisions
One thing that we all miss most of the times is thinking and planning for the future. God is a God of preparation and order. In the midst of all the excitement for your new life as husband and wife, we could miss important things. If are engaged I am guessing you guys went through a series of questions and know each other well enough to know you can live with his bad habits and weird quirks for the rest of your life. But, have you thought about when things are not all good? What happens in a case of an emergency?Do you know if he wishes to donate organs? Is he allergic to something? Medical history? Does he want a transfusion? If he wants to be cremated or even a have a funeral at all? These are harsh things to talk about but very much needed. Life is never assured, and these decisions are tough when someone you love so deeply goes through an unexpected event. But there is no greater comfort knowing that you already know you are doing the right thing. That even the subject is a dark one, you both approached with diligence and understanding. When you love, you also protect future decisions. I am not saying we can prepare for everything, but it is always good to know these things beforehand. You have the rest of your lives together, why not get it out of the way first?
Is always important to ask if the person you are seeing is even interested in having kids, that should have been something already addressed before getting engaged; if you haven’t go addressed it! Another important question is how many kids would each of you be okay with? What I haven’t given any thought about were the following questions. Are you in favor of vaccinating our children? We live in a very different world now, and some people strongly opposed to this. Some say, “We will cross that bridge when we get there” Marriage is a covenant, granted there are going to be things that you will have to wait for.But something as simple as knowing if you want a child to be vaccinated is important. This will affect how you guys present yourselves to your children. More than that it can cause a division in your house and unnecessary fighting. It won’t come as a surprise in the middle of registering your children in school. Very important as well is to think about who will take care of your children in the event of something happening to either one of you?I always remember the movie Life as We Know It, which is about a married couple and their baby girl. They, unfortunately, got in a car accident and left the little girl orphaned. They had their best friends to take care of the baby. That changed me right there. That was a tough decision to make; no one wants to think about events like that happening. But, if you don’t, then your children will suffer from your lack of preparation.
Family. We all have some crazy relatives and know you are going to join some crazy from your side and the crazy from his side. It could be madness! Not really but who knows? The important thing here is to create boundaries. Talk with each other in love. Don’t start by criticizing and judging. Thread carefully here but also be smart and pick your battles. Establishing boundaries is important. You should approach your significant other and explain what things will make you uncomfortable and how you can come to an agreement.Does his family like to appear suddenly for a visit? Would you rather they called first and give a heads up? What are you going to do if someone gets sick? Will you be okay if that person came to live with you guys? Is it okay to give money to extended family? If it is, how much?
Communication is Key
The essential part here is communication. You are all family now and believe it, or not these people love your significant other, and you need to make it work. Talking and being honest is key to prevent bitterness and resentment in the future. It's important that the both of you speak with your family yourselves. You don’t need to involve your significant other in such things. Always present a united front. Approach your family with love and help them understand that as much as you love them as they are, you and your future spouse like things a certain way. We are not rejecting your love, but we would just want to place some boundaries for the future.I cannot emphasize this enough, being engaged does not mean you don't have a choice. This is the perfect moment to decide if you are willing to go there or not. These questions are important and need to be addressed. Don’t be afraid to ask and learn more about each other. In the end, it's better to know beforehand than to find yourself in an uncomfortable situation.