Smart Tips for a Healthy Marriage
God blessed the marital relationship with tranquility and placed between husbands and wives affection and mercy. A healthy marriage is a unique source of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical comfort. While unhealthy marriage is a source of depression, frustration, anger, spite, and lack of blessing, which makes life miserable.Although many people are in failing marriages, there are many ways to put the marriage back on the right track with husband and wife sincere desire to reconcile. The following tips are useful for couples with troubled marriages who would like to avoid the consequences of divorce.
Love without Conditions
Loving your mate purely and beyond material considerations is a revelation of your spouse contribution to improving your character. Love and appreciation are fundamental needs but overlooked and abused in marriage because one of the mates are taking things for granted. Over time, the routine of life change the feelings into a duty of marriage causing the love to fade away, but do not sail in this feeling and forget that the routine started out of love. Start proclaiming gratefulness by spreading the smile, doing the small things that your mate likes, and showing the gratitude.
Communicate and talk to your spouse the way you speak to your best friends. Talk about your day at work, joke, laugh, share ideas, flirt, and even complain concerning your mate right to hold different opinions or opposing points of view. Communications involve understanding spouse likes, dislike, and initiate the attempt to please each other. Couples who learned to communicate effectively attune to each other’s feelings, emotions, and control marital stress concerning conflicts. Jokes and humor go a long way in preventing arguments and brighten the atmosphere. Approach life in a light-hearted manner to smooth the constant stream of life challenges, hardship, and tests.
Focus On the Primary Needs
Neglecting the spouse needs is the main reason for marital stress. Misunderstanding of the major needs is due to inaccurate classification of primary marital needs based on gender or the spouse role in the marriage from different resources. Both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction in various degrees and ways of expression. Disrespect or humiliation creates a common and violent spouse, while dismissed or unfulfilled physical desires create frustration. Have a list of your spouse primary needs such as love, respect, financial security, emotional or physical satisfaction, and ask about the expectations to fulfill these requirements.
Do not expect perfection in all aspects because perfection does not exist in reality, and persisting to achieve it will lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. Recall that God created humans as imperfect beings, which means many mistakes throughout a lifetime. Turn the table and expect imperfection and you will be surprised and pleased while discovering that your spouse is better than your expectation, which leads to contentment within the marriage.Focus on the positive qualities of your spouse and express gratitude on a regular basis to encourage developing other qualities. Overlook and ignore negative characteristics because you might dislike one characteristic, but might find many other pleasing ones.
Admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness without ego. The stronger person is the one who can admit mistakes, request forgiveness, and work hard to improve aspects and change. Unwilling to do this, will create problems for the marital relationship. Do not dwell in the past to keep reminding your spouse with mistakes because it is a sign of judgmental and unforgiven character. Begin with the intention to resolve the problem because it is more likely that there will be a satisfactory resolution.In the end, never go to sleep with an unsettled argument. Unresolved problems overnight are the worst things that can happen in marriage because it allows thoughts to linger during the night and exacerbates the problem.