Kingdom Corner: Marriage

Marriage is a sacred vow between two people that is sanctioned by God to be a life long commitment. It requires love, intimacy, patience, and so much more. Marriage requires devotion, both to each other and to the life that you make together beneath Heaven. God is on your side when it comes to your marriage. He invented it, so He wants you to thrive and enjoy your partner.

The Early Stages

At first, marriage is all butterflies and sweetness. The wedding day is gorgeous. Your bride looks like a princess, your groom looks so knock out gorgeous he’s Prince Charming. You meet for the first time together under God, ready to face the world together. You’re rock solid. The smiles, the winks, and the gentleness is in full swing. You’re so in love you don’t see the other person’s flaws or idiosyncrasies. Your honeymoon phase is beautiful. You grow together in intimacy and become each other’s best friend and confidant. The early stages of marriage are generally the first six months to a year. This is the time of home cooked meals, snuggles on the couch, discussing dreams of children and family, and making plans for your future together. The Spirit of Love rings loud and true. However, the challenges are yet to come.

The First Five Years

This usually begins with your very first fight. You didn’t realize your spouse had a mean bone in his or her body. Well, this is when you start to find out that you’re both very much human with flaws. The way to handle this is to take the Holy Spirit’s example.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 NIV

One fine example of how to handle anger and discord in your household is to pray for your spouse and for your own behavior toward the anger. It should be sugared with love. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Treat your spouse how you would wish to be treated in return. If all else fails, say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If you feel that you want to say something negative, stay quiet. You will be surprised what happens. Then, do one better: do something nice for your spouse. Give her roses. Greet him with a homemade breakfast before work. Above all listen to one another.The first five years can be tough because you are truly getting to know each other. Remember, you made a vow and commitment to your spouse to be there for them in good times and bad, sickness and health. You are only able to change yourself, but with God’s help your marriage can stay strong and will be transformed. I promise! God doesn’t lie. He’s there for you through the troubles. Plus, if your spouse knows that he or she has your support, even when the chips are down, your love will blossom further than butterflies.I’m not saying that all marriages will be so difficult, I just know in my own experience, and after my pastor told me, that the first five years are the hardest. Fortunately, during this time your love will grow in leaps and bounds. It will become comfortable and you will both be able to relax and realize that you can open up to one another about anything that troubles you.

The Long Haul

From years six onward, you should know your spouse pretty well. In fact, you should be finishing each other’s sentences by now. When your wife says “thingy thing” you will know exactly what she means. When your husband has that “look” on his face, you will know how he is feeling. Your comfort level will be at an all time high because you will know each other so well. Love is a beautiful thing, if you let it take its natural course over time and don’t throw in the towel. God is there to support two willing partners that intimately, lovingly, and spiritually connect with one another. Go to the Lord with all of your troubles together, pray for one another, pray together. Your life will be enriched and full of joy as the years pass.