Is It Time to Take a Break From Dating?
Do you feel like you can’t find THE one? Every dating experience and people you meet are just not enough? Are you scared that you will end up lonely or like the cat lady? Have you asked yourself, is it time to take a break from dating?
Dating is not easy it doesn’t matter which way you look at it. Dating has a lot to do with ourselves. Yes, you read that right. It has to do with you. See sometimes we are so set on finding THE one that we lose focus. We start making up excuses and not seeing what is in plain sight for others to see.You use the first date and start fantasizing how good a father he will make and how awesome the wedding will be and fail to notice the important things. You are desperate because in your mind you can’t take being alone anymore. You start compromising and lowering your standards because you can’t wait any longer. Then we fall into the myths that come with dating.
Forget about every book you read and movie you have seen. This is real life. Dating is a phase in which you evaluate each other for marriage. Understand that you cannot date with the same mindset of the world. If you are a believer and you love God, then you can’t just do whatever you want when it comes to dating. God is interested in this area of your life. One of the myths we hear is, I am waiting for my other half or better half.I used to think like this until I realize that I am whole as I am. Dating is all about who you are. If you are waiting for someone to make you happy, I have bad news that’s not going to happen. You are responsible for your own happiness. Perfection. That is another myth he or she must be perfect for me. No one is perfect and to expect perfection from someone else when we are not even up to that standard is not even a realistic expectation.Dating a few people at a time is ok. No, it is not. The amount of confusion you will get is enough for me just to run the other way. Think, are you giving them everything or just part of yourself because you're invested in other people too?
Taking a break in dating
If you feel that everything I have addressed to this point has resonated with you. I think you need to reexamine yourself. Taking a break from dating does not mean to give up. I can speak from experience on this, I believed that I needed to be quick and open so I could find THE one! I was so misguided that I ended up hurting and losing myself more in this desperation.In the end, the root of the problem was fear. I had fears of being alone and that my time was very close for me not to have children anymore. Yours could be different types of fear or motivations. But understand that dating back to back is not the answer to your problem. You can’t receive what you don’t give or have. Soul ties are real, and they happened with every level of intimacy we cross.Don’t compromise yourself to see if he or she is THE one. Find yourself and your identity in Christ. When you take a break from dating your first instinct will be that is not a good idea. Don’t give in! Stand firm. Learn what the things you want and need in a relationship are. Be faithful in your relationship with God, pursue Him as He pursues you. Let God fill every area of your life.Learn how to be a good partner and learn who you are. Stop playing games and pretending. Your success will be the recipient of your effort. Be happy being alone. Enjoy your own company, find what makes you happy and keeps you grounded. When you identify yourself and have confidence everything that does not mirror that confidence won’t have space in your life. Most importantly present the people you are considering to God. Ask Him to guide you in the process. Be ready to listen and be obedient. Taking a break from dating might just be the thing you needed the most.