I used to think that it was enough to marry a Christian man. That as long as that box was checked off, then it would all be good. But what I didn’t take into account was the fact that there is more to following Christ than calling ourselves Christians. We can proclaim our desire to follow Jesus off of every rooftop, but if we’re not actively reaching towards Him, we’re missing something.
The truth of the matter is that humans are broken. We are all broken, all doing the best that we can as we walk through life. When we get married, we promise big things to each other; promise to love through sickness, poverty, all of the bad times. That’s a lot of pressure on two broken humans with a life ahead of them. Human love alone cannot handle that task.
That’s why it is so important to be actively reaching to Jesus. It’s not enough to walk the walk, to talk the talk, to read all of the great Christian marriage books, and to display bible verses all over our homes. If we are reaching only for each other and not to Jesus, we are missing something. Jesus is what holds our messy lives together, and He too is what holds our marriages together. We must reach for Him first.
I must admit, it does feel a little odd to me to think this way. Seeking God before my spouse, actively pursuing someone other than Eric, makes my insides squirm a little bit. And while I know that Jesus is my rock, my comforter, my deliverer, Eric is the one I wake up to every morning. Who I eat dinner with every night. It feels easier to pursue him first and foremost.
But Eric isn’t perfect, and I am not perfect. He fails me, and I fail him, every day. It’s just how it is. And one day, down the road, when life has just about swallowed us whole and we can’t hang on any more, we will not be the ones saving our marriage, Jesus will. And that’s not to say that we should sit around relying on Jesus and not working on our marriages or actively loving our spouses, but it does mean that our relationship with Christ is of utmost importance.
Marriage is so incredible in so many ways, but it also can be a little bit like the blind leading the blind. Both just trying to find our way, doing the best we can, not always knowing where we are going. It’s really a horrible idea if we just follow each other. I trust Eric’s judgment and I follow his lead, only because I know that he is seeking the Lord in every step.
Jesus offers healing that we cannot give each other. I don’t know about you, but I don’t just want a good marriage, and I don’t just want a good life. I want more than that. I want a life and a marriage filled with the Holy Spirit, one that brings Him glory, that brings healing to our hearts, and the hearts around us; that is extraordinary. That’s what Jesus gives us.
Who knows what that will look like in our lives or where it will lead us. We may walk together through mental illness, or physical illness, or travel across the world to feed the poor, or wander the maze of parenthood together. But I know that no matter what it is we do, that extraordinary and deeply desire for my marriage comes from Jesus alone. It is He who leads us to that place.
Regardless of where you are right now. Whether you are single, dating, engaged, married, divorced know that Jesus is the glue that holds it together. He is the power behind an extraordinary life and an extraordinary marriage. We cannot get there on our own. We cannot. I don’t know about you, but I want more than just a good life, and a good marriage. I want Jesus, in every nook and cranny, every tear, and every laugh.
Seek Jesus first in your life, and choose a spouse who does as well. My friends, it is invaluable. Everything points back to Him.