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When You Don’t Feel So Wonderfully Made

Sometimes I don’t feel “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Can I get an “Amen!”? When your thighs rub together, your hair won’t cooperate, and your jeans no longer fit. Those are the moments when it’s hard to be confident in who we are, resting in who God created us to be.

I started having body image issues at a young age when I was getting the message that my body was unattractive. When I was eight I was often called “bony” and “twig”. My piano teacher used to comment on how thin I was so vehemently that I left every lesson in tears.

By high school I already hated myself. I could rattle off a list of the things that were wrong with me, but couldn’t think of one thing that I liked. I stopped eating, spent hours in front of the mirror, pinching and pulling my skin into what I thought was more attractive. Thus began my journey through an eating disorder.

After years of treatment programs and therapy, I emerged from my illness, raw but healthy. I knew that I still had a long road ahead of me in terms of loving myself, and my body, and I knew I would have to work at it.

Having grown up in a Christian home, I thought maybe the Bible was a good place to start. I thumbed through my index and found a few verses that affirmed my worth in Christ and I wrote them neatly on index cards. I put those cards on my mirror, closet door, and the door to my room, and read them every time I saw them; little reminders of who I really was.

Now, 7 years later, I still look in the mirror and see things I don’t like. It’s easy to slip into dissatisfaction and comparison.

We look into our mirrors, through our own eyes, and through the world’s eyes. We see all the things we need to change to belong here, not the beauty that God sees in us, His masterpiece that He created.

So how do we change it? How do we see ourselves through God’s eyes and not our own?

It’s something that we need to work at. Asking God to help you see yourself through His eyes is a great start! But there are also a few things that you can do to affirm that. Read through the following verse. Copy them onto note cards and put them in places where you most often feel like you don’t measure up.

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” {1 Peter 3:3-4}

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” {Psalm 139:14}

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”{Proverbs 31:10}

Another way to reroute your mind when you start to hate on yourself is to stand in front of the mirror (I promise this works) and say all of the things you like about yourself. The first time you do this it may be a struggle, but as you do this you will start saying you love things like, “that mole on my shoulder” and “my big toe”. Seriously it works! Give it a try.

And if nothing else, friends, remember, “you are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and you are so loved by the maker of the universe. No cellulite or acne marks can stand in the way of that!

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