Sex, it is everywhere today. In advertisements, movies, and books. But, as a believer how do we avoid temptations? Our society sees sex before marriage as a normal thing. Some teenagers see it as a rite of passage. Hearing that someone is a virgin is a thing of the past in today’s society.
All through high school and college, I was a virgin and no one ever believed me. Have you ever played the game “Never Have I Ever”? Well for those of you who don’t know it can be an ice breaker or just a fun game between friends. Everyone starts with ten points (usually counted on their fingers) and when someone says never have I ever… and you’ve done that activity that they mention, you lose a point. Whoever has the most points at the end, wins.
Well, my friends always knew they could make me lose by saying, “Never have I ever waited for marriage to have sex”. Every time someone I didn’t know was playing, they acted like I was some rare creature. They would ask me questions like, “Really? You’ve never had sex?” or “How can you wait so long?”
Growing up, I always heard in church about how abstinence was always the right way and sex was a sin. No one ever told me that God made sex to be a beautiful thing. God does talk about how sex should be saved for marriage. In Genesis 2:24 God says,
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one-flesh NIV.
Becoming one flesh is not something that is separated. If someone sleeps around with multiple people, how can they become “one-flesh” with every person they have ever had sex with?
Someone once explained it to me like this: Imagine I superglue a blue piece of paper to a pink piece of paper and then I let them sit for a while. If you try to separate the two, it doesn’t work. They tear; leaving pieces of themselves on each other. Just like those pieces of paper, we leave a part of ourselves on the other person and if we try to leave or move on it is not healthy for us. This is because we have become “one-flesh”.
Don’t get me wrong, I was tempted to give up my purity. I was tired of waiting for God’s plan. There were even times where I would go out with a bunch of friends who were not believers and drink. I told myself that if something happened, I didn’t care. I was impatient and stubborn. Luckily the opportunity never came up. I truly believe God had His hand in that.
Something we need to keep in mind is that God never lets us be tempted past what we can handle. And that is something I had forgotten throughout my battle. But, if you ever feel like you have come across a temptation you can’t handle, here are some tips that helped me through those times.
- Pray. I know it seems like no one is listening but if you just ask God for strength and guidance, He will give it to you. He is always listening.
- Write about your temptations and then reflect upon them. Sometimes when I would feel like I was going to do something I shouldn’t , I would write it down; every last feeling. Then I would go back and read it. It would always hit me that what I was wanting to do really wasn’t a path I was wanting to go down.
- If you are in a relationship, set those boundaries! When you both know where you are at and what lines you don’t want to cross, it is easier to avoid that temptation.
- Have an accountability friend. Make this someone who is of the same sex and has the same views as you. When you are in a tempting situation, you can take a moment and call them. Hearing another voice of wisdom is always helpful.
I know sometimes you just want to throw in the towel. No one said it would be easy. That’s why it is called temptation. But I promise you, waiting is worth it. God has a beautiful plan for your life and that includes the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Once you meet that person and finally see the amazing gift He wanted you to wait for, you will see that it truly is worth the wait.