Single people all have a very unique way of explaining their perfect mate, and can often be picky when dating. There is a sort of fairy tale aspect when describing Mr. or Mrs. Right. Sometimes we think our “right now” is our forever partner. That can be true in some cases, but in others it is really far off. When you are in the dating phase of a relationship it can be very difficult to determine being picky versus being selective. Can someone be too picky when dating? Let’s examine some ideas about why you shouldn’t be.
You shouldn’t be picky over a person’s body and how it looks because it is only a small part of who that person is. Deciding whether you want to continue dating that person should be gauged off of their morals, values, dreams, and beliefs. There should not be a category for perfect body because beauty and value of a person is not a measurable feature.
Money is important in all facets of life. It should however not be a major focus of determining whether you go exclusive or not. Give your potential partner a break and consider the possibilities why they may not have money right now. This is important to consider if you find yourself wondering about their less suitable bank account. Life continues to happen no matter what stage of life you are in. Consider giving them a break if it’s only a temporary financial crisis. No one likes to be judged for things that are out of their control.
The Stage of Life
There are ways to be selective about choosing a potential date without being too picky. You obviously want to pick someone that suits your lifestyle and aspirations, but don’t dodge their text messages if their life isn’t quite yet established the way you think it should be. Many things influence our lives and they can cause a ruckus at any given time. You should definitely defer anyone that doesn’t agree with your ambitions and dreams, but you should give the person a chance; maybe they are in the process of building their career.
Be careful on judging people by their style. Think about the many things to consider when analyzing someone’s style; especially if they didn’t have anyone to guide them. Remember, style is something that can always be taught. You want to be careful not to force someone to change, but it is possible to help someone (especially guys) be more discerning in the style department.
Building a relationship takes time, especially an intimate one. Just because there are kinks between the sheets doesn’t mean your date is a dud just yet; give it time. Always give consideration to nerves or feeling self-conscious. There is always a past experience (or lack thereof) that can be a factor. Be easy on your companion and maybe try going out again.
Be sure you are trying to find compatibility and not being too picky when you are selecting a potential date. Being picky is often a defense mechanism to avoid getting close to someone. Just remember to be aware of yourself and what you want out of a relationship. This is the true difference between being selective versus being picky.