My husband and I have been married for five months and it has been an amazing experience. We were dating for a year before finally getting married but it takes so much time to learn so much about your significant other. Every day, I learn something new; whether it is something big or small. I learn things about his past or what his pet peeves are. Learning about your spouse doesn’t change just because you are married. It is something that will continue on till death. After we got married, we began to have arguments. We haven’t full-on yelled at each other during a fight or argument but we have had little disagreements. Sometimes they were stupid and other times they felt so huge that we wondered how to get around them.
So if you are wondering, yes, fights are a common thing. Don’t be scared just because you have them. The idea is to love your spouse no matter what. We all come with baggage, mistakes and annoying pet peeves that the other might not like. But let’s face it, no one is perfect. So what are some common fights that newly weds have?
No one likes doing the dishes, especially when there is food caked on to the plates or silverware. At first you might shake your head and say, “Oh my silly spouse”, but as time goes on, that can turn into an annoying habit that the other person possesses. You might start to argue about who did the dishes last or how the dishes should be done and when the dishes should be done. Keep in mind, that we were all raised differently. My parent’s did things differently than my husband’s parents did and we each took on those cleaning traditions. Work together to find a happy medium. Maybe you both do the dishes together. It can be a great time for bonding. If you don’t have time to do it together or you have opposite schedules, do it anyways. It is the attitude of the heart that sets us apart in the end. I sometimes like to clean the whole house or do the dishes before my husband gets home to surprise him. It feels good when I clean for someone else.
Money is usually a big marriage breaker. We all have an idea of things that are important to spend our money on. Sometimes one person thinks it is best to pay all the bills and save the rest of the money while their spouse believes it would be best to spend the extra money on fun activities such as going to the movies or buying something new. Marriage will require a budget that you both agree on. Sit down together and come up with that budget. Put aside all the money that you need to in order to pay the bills and then discuss what to do with the extra.
Time is precious to us and therefore, can be a time where we tend to fight more. I will admit that I get jealous of my husband’s time. I wanted him to spend all of his time with me and not with anyone else. It was difficult, at first, for me to relinquish my time with him. As married couples, we need to remember that sometimes it is best for our significant other to go spend time with his guy friends or with her girl friends. That time that they spend with them, allows them to be able to talk some things out. I’m not saying to go bash your spouse to your friends but get some advice from them. Sometimes it is good for me to hear from my friends that I am over reacting about something my husband and I are fighting about. Set a date time for yourselves. Maybe twice a month or once a week, depending on your schedules. One-on-one time is just as crucial as time with your friends.
There are tons of other small arguments or large arguments that newly wed couples are bound to have but through it all we need to remember that it takes two to carry on a marriage. Sometimes that means meeting in the middle but whatever the reason, always end it with love. Don’t go to bed angry or with unfinished business because you never know what tomorrow will hold and it would be horrible if you couldn’t tell that person how much you love them after what you fought about.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. NIV Corinthians 13:4-8