The secret to a healthy marriage is the Holy Grail of those who have recently said ‘Yes!’ or ‘I do.’ Everyone wants to know how to make it to his or her golden anniversary, and still be happy about it. Well, it’s about time a little light was shed on the matter.
Let’s review the 3 C’s that help create and maintain a healthy marriage.
A good, old-fashioned conversation can do wonders for fostering a healthy marriage. This is especially true after you and your significant other have been together for a long time. Initially, you might find yourself wanting to tell your partner all of your secrets and memories – every little piece of your life that has led up to this moment.
However, as time goes on, you’ll find that you run out of things to talk about. You already know just about everything there is to know about one another. You’ll find yourself getting out of the habit of getting things off of your chest. Then, before you know it, you are furious because they left the cap off of the toothpaste, or they forgot to close a drawer completely. You’re probably not mad about the small thing you’re complaining about, but you have forgotten how to communicate what you’re truly angry about.
Keep in mind: This can be avoided. Just talk to each other. Tell him how your day was. Tell her what made you laugh at lunch, and why it made you laugh. If you never get out of the habit of communicating, then you’ll reach a point of no return.
Okay, so you’ve communicated what you want. Now you need to go about getting it. However, there may be a roadblock: your significant other. They may not want exactly what you want. This is where compromising comes in.
Have you heard the adage, ‘A happy wife is a happy life’? Well, that’s hogwash. A decent compromise is what equals a happy life. Now, this isn’t to say that for certain compromises, one person gets a little bit more of what they want. However, there has to be balance in this. Perhaps this compromise you’re compromising a little less, but that means next time you need to compromise a little more.
That, in itself, is the beauty of compromise.
You’ve communicated what you want. You’ve compromised to get it. However, you’re still not quite satisfied with the final product of what you wanted initially. This is where commitment comes in. It doesn’t matter if you sometimes don’t get what you want – or, not exactly what you want – because marriages are all about committing.
You’ve already walked down the aisle, said ‘I do’, and enjoyed a honeymoon. Most of the extravagant, exhilarating stuff is over. You’re not going to be experiencing bouquets of flowers, or season tickets every day. But you’re not just going to file for divorce if you become angry, or upset, or hurt…are you?
No, you’re going to stay committed, and work things out. You’ve committed to this person, for better and for worse. You might be dealing with a whole lot of worse, but eventually, you’ll find your way to the better.
Ultimately, marriage is about communicating what you want, compromising to get it, but remaining committed no matter what.